Sometimes it's brutal, it's torture. It's laugh or you'll cry, laugh
or you'll die. It's beyond possible. Not beyond what you can imagine,
but it is exactly the worst you could imagine, except that in
imagination it doesn't feel, it isn't real. It's every song and
feeling. It's brutal in a moment and brutal in a week and brutal for a
month. Five minutes could dry you up, chew you up and spit you out.
Five minutes could make you give in, could shut you up. Five minutes
you could write home about and never would forget.
sometimes I think: well this isn't really all that hard. There's
really nothing to this. Anyone could do this. This is actually rather
pleasant. I could sure think of worse things than this. I think I just
might finish this.
sometimes, it is wonderful.